I…kind of have a personal problem with this attitude? I dunno, I don’t want to be a keyboard warrior. But I have big, lumpy burn scars covering about a third of my body, and I encounter this mindset a lot. That by pointing out the flaw you are showing that you are cool with it. And I didn’t mind it in The Avengers,but I think it’s becoming more prevalent in a worrisome manner.
Three or four times a week, I will be minding my own business and a total stranger will grab my arm and ask what happened or, if they are familiar with burn scars and want to show off their knowledge, ask me how I was burned. That is not an exaggeration. It’s nice to be able to pat yourself on the back, I’m sure, and say that you’ve shown this other person that you don’t mind that they’re different, but a lot of times that person will have that sort of reaction on a nearly daily basis. You don’t think that gets old?
Let me be clear. This should probably be looked at on a case-by-case basis. Nick Fury does not give two shits if you make fun of his eyepatch. He is probably smirking because he has poison darts hidden behind the patch and is gleefully wavering back and forth between ending Tony’s life or allowing him to live for another moment. A lot of the people that you will use this mindset on in day to day life? Will have been living with their difficulties their entire life and might have a few insecurities about it that your good intentions will not make better.
I’ve had my scars since I was six. My first crush started picking on me and calling me “Ugly Girl” when the bandages finally came off. Friends who would normally throw an arm around my shoulder and hug me with abandon wouldn’t come near me if I bared my shoulders. I’ve had little kids whisper to each other that it looked like someone puked on my arm while I was trying to teach them how to swim. A coworker once noticed them, rubbed my arm vigorously and then told me at least I still had my pretty face.
You think I really want a fucking reminder that my scars are highly visible, that I want you to touch them without permission just to show me that YOU are OKAY WITH THEM?
My attempts to avoid keyboard warring seem to have failed. But I guess the point is: don’t follow Tony Stark’s example. He is a fucking idiot. Please try to mind your fucking manners.